


Dying next to you

by Yello_turtur



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: I apologize in advance, Karma and gakushuu are bros, M/M, Poor Karma, Prepare the Tissues, Suicide Attempt, and a tub of ice cream, angst???, gakushuu is awkward bean, how does one tag, may or may not have cried while writing this, may trigger poeple, sad face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-01-24 18:10:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21342529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yello_turtur/pseuds/Yello_turtur
Summary: "I love you, karma" are the four words he never got to say.XxDISCONTINUEDxXChapter 4 is a notice that the work is not continuing.
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa, Asano Gakushuu/Sakakibara Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	1. Four words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lazy_Muffin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazy_Muffin/gifts).

> Most of the first chapter will be in first person p.o.v and the rest will be in third.  
Also sorry for the sadness I may cause. :)

A shot rung out and horror invaded all my senses. The only thing I could see was him falling to the ground and the colour red. My body felt like it was on auto pilot and I ran right to his side leaning him against my lap. I heard muffled voices and rushed feet behind me but I couldn't have cared less, my best friend was bleeding out right in front of me.

"Ka... Karma" he breathed, clearly struggling to talk. I looked at him with tears pricking my eyes   
" y-yeah Nagisa" I said his name to him, hoping it wasn't the last time I would. He looked at me with a weak smile and I immediately thought ' how can he smile at time like this'  
"Promise me-" he coughed and blood ran down his cheek "If I don't make it that you won't blame your...self"

I felt like screaming, I couldn't lose him just the thought of him gone made me sick."Prom...ise me" he repeated. I looked him right in the eye and shakily replied " I-i promise" and Just as I did I thought 'and I'll try to my best to keep it.'

"H...hey karma" Nagisa started, my eyes never leaving him once. "Th-there's one thing I wish I co..uld have done sooner." He whispered almost inaudible. Nagisa used what looked like the last of his strength, loosely wrapped his arms around my neck and planted a kiss on my lips. 

The shock hadn't gotten to settle in as the kiss ended as soon as it had started and Nagisas petite form layed limp a top of mine. "N-nagisa?" I asked weakly.

No response.

"P-please Nagisa, I-I can't lose you. Not now, not ever. I-I...I love you" I whispered softly in his ear as the realization of my feelings and the shock of admitting them out loud settled in. "You hear that!" I yelled quietly "I love you, you can't go, I won't let you!"

Again no response.

At that moment tears streamed down my face and I just sat there and cradled Nagisa in my arms while whispering "I love you Nagisa, please come back" over and over hoping he would open his eyes.

~ ~ ~

In the distance I could hear the sirens of an ambulance and police and immediately whisper yelled to myself as I weakly punched the ground beneath me 'stupid, shitty ambulance should have gotten here fucking earlier!' I look down at Nagisa in my arms and start to rock back and forth, still crying, until the ambulance got there.

The sirens stopped outside the store. People in navy blue paramedic uniforms walked in and saw me covered chest down in blood cradling an unmoving Nagisa in my arms. They struggled to hurriedly get Nagisa out of my arms and I just sat there with a traumatized look on my face after they did while crazily mumbling inaudible words to myself as one of the paramedics tried to help me... Suddenly I realised what was happening and jumped up.  
"Don't take him away from me! Nagisa, wake up!" I screamed, tears gushing down my, watching paramedics jump in surprise. "...please..." I said in a much more pleading and quiet tone. Everything was a blur after that. I vaguely remembered being rushed into hospital alongside my pale Nagisa and hearing muffled voices confirm that Nagisa was... That he was gone. 'Shit' I thought ' he's really gone isn't he? He's not coming back' that night I cried myself to sleep, preparing for the coming days.

Third person p.o.v

Meanwhile in a room, not too far from Karma's, a lifeless feminine looking boy had four words lingering on his lips. Four words he never got to or ever will say out loud. 'I love you, Karma"


	2. Hey Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Gakushuu are twins.  
Karma gets angry.  
He starts talking to Nagisa at a bridge.  
Nagisas funeral.  
Karma runs away.  
Gakushuu finds him asleep in the woods.  
Karma teases gakushuu because he can't swear.  
:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its longer than the first one and the third one is way longer than this one but its not finished

Karma awoke in a hospital with his twin brother Gakushuu sitting at his side, something wrapped in cloth beside him. Karma could tell his brother was worried, he didn't even have to see his face, how he was facing the floor, resting his forehead on his intertwined fingers gave it away.  
"Worried about me shuu?" Karma asked in a hoarse voice but tone playful, as to hide the pain he felt away from everyone around him.

Gakushuu turnned to Karma to see him staring at him with a obviously strained smile on his face. The first thing Gakushuu did when he saw this was throw his arm around Karma, bringing him into a tight embrace. For the first time in forever, Karma was genuenly surprised and he loosely returned the gesture with one hand.

"Hey" Gakushuu said voice wavering slightly, but, what karma took as, a warm smile on his face. Gakushuu was never really good at that kind of thing. "I brought you some of mum's cooking, you know, since you complain about the hospital food whenever you're in hospital." He finished placing the cloth wrapped item in front of his twin.

"Thanks shuu" Karma said with a sad smile on his face. He reached up and pat Gakushuu on the head causing the other to blink in surprise. Karma then had a question pop into his mind. "Hey Gakushuu?" Karma asked, a sad edge to his voice. Said boy open his eyes and looked at the red head as if to say 'yes, I'm listening' Karma took in a deep, shaky breath and started "so... Do you kn-" Karma was cut off by his brother. "Yes, I.. I know"

At that moment Karma burst into silent tears and Gakushuu's mind was screeching 'oh chocolate fudge cakes, what do I do?!' Gakushuu internally screamed.  
"H-he's gone shuu..." Karma hiccuped into the younger twins chest. "Gone forever, w-what will I d-do without him?" Gakushuu, trying to be comforting, awkwardly but softly patted Karmas back. "I'm not really sure, but we'll figure this out, I Promise" he told karma while also trying his best not to cry at the sight of karma at his most vulnerable state. With Gakushuu's words Karma remembered his promise to Nagisa: "promise me you won't blame yourself". His sobs escalated in volume causing his breath to stutter. 

With that Gakushuu couldn't hold his tears back anymore and started crying just as loud and painfilled as Karma. Both twins sat crying in a hospital room, clinging to each other like a lifeline. The events that happened that day were kept in that room never to be spoken about for as long as possible.

~ ~ ~

Karma was discharged from the hospital after a few days and was greeted home by a less than warm welcome. Karmas mother and father were fighting over matters karma couldn't even be bothered to know about. The only one that actually being nice and said hi was gakushuu. 

Gakushuu quickly got karma to their bedroom so they both wouldn't get caught up in the duos squabbling. They share the same bedroom because they're twins, what else would they do.  
"Thanks" Karma said queitly, sitting at the end of his bed. The room was left in an awkward silence, neither of the two daring to break it. Gakushuu was hating the silence, trying to think of something to get Karma to at least talk.  
"When are you going back to school" Gakushuu asked, placing himself on their shared desk, cross legged.

Karma looked up, eyes cold and something inside them broken. "Monday" he replied monotonously. Gakushuu thought 'that's only two days away'  
"Why so soon?" Gakushuu asked concern showing on his face.  
"It's not like I was injured or anything, I'll be fine." Karma said harshly glaring at Gakushuu. Said boy sent a glare right back.  
"Karma, you have the right to be sad, you witnessed something no one ever should." Gakushuu nearly yelled at him.  
"I'm fine" Karma spat getting up from his bed. "I don't need coddling and I certainly don't need orders from you!" He finished, slamming the door as he walked out forgetting the people fighting in the living room.

Both adults look at him when his mother starts speaking. "Hey baby are yo-" his mother stopped when she saw the dead and angered look in her childs eyes. Karma glared at his parents walking at a slower than regular pace as the adults removed themselves from his path. Karma walked straight out the door, saying nothing, but still leaving a deathly chill in the room.

~ ~ ~

Karma walked all the way to a bridge overshadowing a small lake, sad smile playing at his lips. "This is where we first met, remember Nagisa." Karma started hoping it would reach the other boy in the stars. "You looked so scared, being manhandled by those bullies." He frowned at that part. "When I saved you I felt like a prince, I always wanted to be a prince, not the prissy type of course. The prince that saved people. When you thanked me I felt so happy, happy that you weren't scared of me." Karma slid his back down the bridge's fence and sat, sadly but fondly talking. "After that you followed me everywhere, and we hung out all the time. When I came out to you, you didn't leave. When I was in trouble or going through a rough patch you helped me through it. You were my best friend and I loved you." Karma swallowed down a lump in his throat and continued. "Now... Now you're gone and I'll never get to show you exactly how much you meant to me." Karma stayed like that for a long time, ignoring all weird looks he got from passer byers and answering the occasional 'are you ok?' question.

Karma sat there until it was to dark to see anything. "I should probably go now. I kinda left home on bad note. don't want shuu to get worried knowing him he'd probably call his 'boyfriend' and tell him to get a search party together. Him and sakakibara aren't a thing but Gakushuu is so in love." After saying that Karma felt his shit-eating grin fade. He looked at the sky a and waved, barely smiling. "Bye, Nagisa"

When Karma returned home their was a letter poking out the mail box. Karma pulled it out and opened it revealing its contents. He carefully read the letter and it fell out of his slightly trembling hands when he was done. The letter Karma had read was informing him about a certain bluenette's funeral. 'Nagisas funeral... Is tomorrow?!' Karma thought.

~ ~ ~

Karma woke up the next day at 11:30am giving Karma 1 and a half hours to get ready, as the funeral was at one pm. Karma wore a black button up shirt and grey track suit pants as did gakushuu. They both left after gakushuu told his parents and they walked to the cemetery in total silence.

The funeral was long and the whole of 3E was there even korosensei. When he saw them he knew he couldn't imagine how they felt. One minute everything is fine and the next there's a letter telling them that the sweet blue haired boy everyone liked was gone and he wasn't coming back. That's just horrible.

The whole funeral karma tried to stay out of sight but close enough to hear people talking. The only time he showed his face was when they all got a rose and placed it on top if nagisas body. He went last knowing he take a really long time. When he saw nagisa Karma placed his rose right into nagisas pale hands. 'Wake up Nagisa, open your eyes' he thought. ' I want to see your blue eyes again with your equally beautiful smile.' Karma placed his hand on Nagisa's cheek and kept it there for a while, seeing the love of his life lying still in a coffin in front of him broke him even more than he was. 'This means it's real, this means it actually happened.'

Karma couldn't take it anymore, it couldn't be real, he ran fast and he ran far. He couldn't bring himself to cry in front of everyone so he ran deep into the forrest and screamed. Tears poured down his face like waterfalls. He spent the rest of that day crying his heart out in the woods. Gakushuu found him unconscious on the forest floor many hours later and carried him back home.

~ ~ ~

Karma awoke in his bed at home with His twin staring intensely at him, it honestly scared the heck out if him. Seeing he was awake, Gakushuu left and came back with toast and a glass of water. He shoved them both at Karma.  
"You haven't eaten or drank anything for two days so..." He said shoving them at Karma once again. "Toast, water." Karma took them both and knew that Gakushuu probably wouldn't leave him alone if he didn't eat or drink anything.  
"Thanks" Karma said eating the toast and chugging the water. "Also I noticed I didn't wake up in the forrest and that's where I fell asleep. So I'm just wondering, did you have a Gakushuu freak out and send a search party for me?" Gakushuus face went as red as Karmas hair. "What the flute, Karma!? I've never done that!" Gakushuu argued. "That's debatable, and what the flute? Really? Just say the actual word there's nothing wrong with saying-" before Karma could finish Gakushuu yelled "Don't you dare say it" "-fuck" Gakushuu then flopped onto his bed while whispering just loud enough for karma to hear "Ohmygodyou'reunbelievable" Karma laughed for the first time in days and it made Gakushuu happy his brother wasn't crying or angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tell me what you thought.  
Constructive criticism is welcome.  
But please no hate comments.  
:)


	3. I thought you were better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma hates going to school without nagisa

Notes: korosensei has a human form

On Monday Karma walked to school with Gakushuu beside him.   
"Bye Karma, don't do anything stupid!" Gakushuu waved, he was in 3-A so he didn't have to walk up the mountain.   
"Wouldn't dream of it" Karma joked, putting on a fake smike, even though his brother wasn't looking, and waving back. Karma didn't see any of his classmates on the rest of his trek up the mountain.

Karma walked into the classroom of   
3-E with a deadly painful look on his face. Everyone who saw him avoided eye contact, knowing exactly why. When korosensei entered the room it was silent for a while. The only thing the students heard were their own thoughts. "I know we have all recently lost someone dear to us..." Their teacher started. "but, we have to get through the day" Korosensei said eyes on Karma.

Karma spaced out in all his classes that day, never really paying attention to what was being said. The school day came to an end Karma sped out the door without as much as a goodbye. 

[A/N: Attempt suicide, skip two paragraphs if you wish not to read]

Karma ran all the way to the cliff he tried to assassinate korosensei at as his last solo attempt, and looked down it. Karma stood with his the tips of his shoes hanging off the side. Nagisa not being at school was hard for Karma, Nagisa not running at him and giving him a tackle hug before class twisted his heart and broke it in all new ways. Just as he felt his feet leave the ground he heard a voice.

"KARMA!" Karma turned his head to see a glimpse of isogai and maehara running for him with the rest of the class behind them. They couldn't reach him in time and his body plumeted. Time seemed to go in slow motion for Karma as flashes of a limp nagisa in his arms filled Karmas eyes. Karma started to tear up when he felt a gust of air and his feet touching the ground  
"I got here just in time luckily" korosensei sighed looking releived. Karma felt two hands on his shoulders.

A karma knew what was happening he was being held back from the cliffs edge.   
"Let me go!" He yelled at maehara and isogai.  
"No!" They screamed just as loud, tears forming in both their eyes.  
"It's my fault! I was there with him! You all know I should be the one dea-" karma was cut off by kayadae punching him in the face.   
"Shut up!" She yelled at him. "No one here thinks that and you shouldn't either. We're all hurting, not just you. You're not allowed to take the easy way out!" She stared angrily into Karmas eyes. "Nagisa wouldn't want that and neither would any of us. How do you think We'd feel if you weren't here as well as nagisa!" Karma couldn't hold back his tears anymore, they came flowing out and the two boys holding him back let him go. Karma fell to his knees and cried loudly in front of all his classmates.

Gakushuu's P.O.V

Gakushuu was walking back to his house with Ren Sakakibara when he got the call. "Hello? Asano Gakushuu speaking" he spoke into the phone. "Hi asano, karma is you brother correct?" The man on the other side, who Gakushuu was assuming was 3-E's teacher, asked. "That is correct, yes." The strawberry blonde replied. "Well I feel bad to inform you of his attempt on his own life." Gakushuu's eyes went wide."I'll be right there." he said sternly before hanging up and running towards the E class mountain with no warning, leaving a very confused Ren running after him.

When Gakushuu got there a green haired girl was yelling at Karma, eyes glassy. He saw Karma fall to the ground in tears, hugging himself. Gakushuu ran up to him and wrapped his arms around him from behind, surprising everyone around them.

Karma felt arms wrap themselves around him from behind. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know it was his twin brother. "Shuu" He said leaning his head back, voice shaky. "I'm sorry" Gakushuu didn't reply but he tightened his grip around Karma. Karma put his hands on Gakushuu's trying his best to return the gesture.

Gakushuu let go of Karma and when he turned around karma received a slap to the face. "What were you thinking" Gakushuu breathed, tearfully. "Why would you try to do something like that!?" Although he was crying Gakashuu was so angry he looked as if he were about to implode. "I'm sorry!" karma repeated, sobbing loudly.

Everyone around them was very surprised and really confused. Mostly due to the fact that karma was crying, but also because gakushuu just appeared out of nowhere and hugged karma, also crying. Lucky for 3-E their usually yellow teacher had turned into his human form, so asano didn't find out their secret. All of class E just stared at the the two boys before them.

Gakushuu shakily got to his feet and spoke. "If you don't mind I'll be taking my brother home." He said not even caring who knew they were brothers at that moment.

The still very confused students made a path for the two boys to walk through. A few seconds later they they were on the mountain path when Ren ran in them, literally. "S-sorry" Ren said and then realized who he had ran into. "Gakushuu! is everything OK? You just ran off." Ren then noticed the red head behind Gakushuu. "Why is karma here and... Is he okay?" Ren asked looking confused.   
"He will be." Gakushuu said, continuing down the mountain pulling Karma behind him. "Hopefully." Was muttered shortly afterwards. Ren just stared, surprised at how Gakushuu was acting towards the red haired boy.

When they got back home, Gakushuu handed the keys to Karma.  
"Go inside. Don't touch anything and sit on the couch." Gakushuu said sternly, glaring at Karma to make sure that he got the message. Karma gave a small nod and entered the house. When Gakushuu was sure karma was inside he grabbed Rens arm. 

"Ren I need to tell you something." Gakushuu started. "Karma and I... Were brothers." He looked up at Ren and saw that his eyebrows were slightly raised. "Twins, actually." He continued. "I didn't tell you before because father didn't want anyone to know. I've actually only know for a few years. At first I didn't like it, but now we're really close and-" Gakushuu started rambling. Ren grabbed his shoulders "ku, calm down, talk slowly." Ren said using the nickname he gave Gakushuu when they were kids. He looked up to face Ren and realised he was talking really fast.  
"Sorry. I just don't want you to hate me" Gakushuu breathed.  
"Ku, I could never hate you I wouldn't care if you were related to a giant space octopus. You're my best friend, forever and always, remember?" Ren assured Gakushuu and held out a fist.  
"Right, forever and always." The shorter confirmed bumping his fist with the others.  
"Okay, now that you're somewhat calmed, what happened?" Ren asked confused.   
Gakushuu took a deep shaky breath and spoke. "Well, um. Karma kinda tried to jumped off a cliff." His voice was quiet and he sounded as though he could break down at any moment.  
"He did what now!?" Ren yelled he may have only just been told about Karma's brotherhood to Gakushuu but if he did anything to hurt his bestfrind Ren wouldn't know what he'd do.  
"Ren, calm the heck down." Gakushuu scolded, he inhaled slowly and continued. "I'm gonna talk to him."

Back inside Karma sat still on the couch, silently. He heard the door click open and slightly looked up. Gakushuu walked in with a stern look on his face, Ren following behind expression a little angry but more worried. They both sat down in front of karma, Gakushuu was the first one to speak. "Karma, I'm not going to tell you to go to couciling our to get a therapist, because I know you won't." He took a deep breath and continued. "I just... I want to know why, I though you were at least a little better." Tears welled up in his eyes as he waited for an answer.

"I was being s-selfish and stupid," karma's breath hitched for a second. "I wanted s-so badly to see h-him again. It's so hard to go b-back to school when... When I kn-know he won't be there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said before NO hate comments please I don't have the best self confidence and this is my first fic


	4. announcement!

Hi its me, obviously, I have decided that I won't be finishing this probably ever. I'm not really proud of it and I have no motivation whatsoever.

I would also like to focus on schoolwork and other things that might come with that.

Thanks for reading this.

Yello_turtur signing out, bye for now 😊

PS: Take no notice of the end notes I have no idea why they're there

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry again. Tell me what you thought


End file.
